Stranger Things Have Happened (No They Haven't)
by Jade Katherina Snape
Summary: This is a crackfic I wrote during the chaos of finals. I was reading a lot of stories that dealt with wild Hogwarts parties and I wanted to try one out for myself! Weird pairings warning! Slash! Hermione/Severus, Harry/Draco, Lucius/Ginny, Ron/Bellatrix, Voldemort/Minerva, Sirius/Remus, Neville/Narcissa. Don't like don't read!
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This is a crackfic about the morning after a wild party at Hogwarts. No one is dead. Be prepared for, well... this.

Warning: Will have slash and other mentions of sex (but not full on explicit)! Obey the rating and read at own risk! No flames please! There are worse out there!

Disclaimer: No... I do not own Harry Potter or anything else. I am not affiliated with J.K. Rowling, and if I was, she would probably kill me for doing this to her precious characters.

Light slowly seeped through the magical windows of the Room of Requirement. Blinking sleep from their eyes, the occupants of the room woke up. They sat up and began to take in the scene around them.

Trashed. That was the one word to describe the room. The Room of Requirement was spacious and split into two areas. The farther end of the room looked like a strip club combined with the Gryffindor common room. There were butterbeer, firewhiskey, and other bottles that must have contained some alcohol strewn about everywhere. Evidence of a game of spin the bottle truth or dare and strip poker were on the floor as well. Also in the room were overturned couches and chairs, a bathtub of suspicious liquid, and white feathers. Everywhere.

Once they got over looking at the far end of the room, all the occupants' eyes drifted to their side of the room. Beds. Seven beds were arranged in a circle. But more surprising than the hot pink heart shaped headboards of the four poster canopy beds were the less than clothed couples occupying them.

In the first bed were Hermione Granger and Severus Snape. Hermione pulled the sheet towards her in an effort to cover herself up, but also revealed Professor Snape in all his naked glory, and covered in hickeys. Snape couldn't stop her though, because his limbs were tied to each of the bedposts with Gryffindor ties. Hermione snapped out of her shock and began to frantically untie the ties with desperate pleas of, "Sorry Professor!".

Meanwhile, in the next bed were Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy, both naked as well. They both sat bolt upright and stared at each other. Harry was the first to speak, "You got wings, Draco." He stated in shock. Sure enough, Draco turned to see two, big, white wings currently coming out of his back. "What the..?" Draco gasped.

His father, Lucius Malfoy, looked from three beds over. "Oh, right,... Draco" he began, also sporting a pair of white wings, " we are a special race of winged humans, I must have lifted the masking spell that hides our wings last night." Draco, and everyone else in the room, looked positively stunned. Not only at what Lucius had said, but at who was sharing his bed. None other than Ginny Weasley. She was surprised as well and made a small squeaking noise when she realized Lucius was in bed with her.

"Ginny! What the heck?", shouted Ron Weasley from his bed next to theirs.

"I should say the same to you Ronald!", Ginny yelled back, gesturing to an even more deranged than usual Bellatrix Lestrange, who was staring at Ron sitting on the other side of their shared bed.

In the bed between Ron's and Harry's were Minerva McGonagall and Lord Voldemort. They were both sitting up in bed, in nightclothes, thankfully, and calmly looking out at everyone else in the room.

From the bed next to Lucius and Ginny, Sirius Black and Remus Lupin were both rousing from sleep. They seemed to be in their own little world, snuggling closer to each other, when Lucius cleared his throat. They both looked up, startled at the other occupants of the room, but then Sirius spoke up, "Well, at least we aren't the craziest pair here."

The rest of the room followed Sirius' gaze toward the final bed in the room, occupied by Neville Longbottom and Lucius' ex-wife Narcissa Black, both just staring at each other in shock.

Harry was the first of the room to break the stunned silence, "WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED LAST NIGHT!?"

To be continued...

A/N: Please review as to your predictions as to what happened... Is it worth finding out? Let me know

NOTE to my fans of The Messers and Miss and A Handful of Color: THESE STORIES ARE TEMPORARILY ON HOLD! (about 2-3 more weeks :( Sorry!) My health has not been its best, finals have barreled through, wifi/computer has been evil, and motivation bunny/muse has run away, but I will find it! Please enjoy my drabbles in its absence.

If you haven't read my other works, please do! And review! Thank you!


	2. Chapter 2

This chapter mostly delves into everyone's mind and their reactions to last chapter! The plot will continue in the next chapter, but this is crucial to understand everyone's mindset in this fic.

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Chapter 2: The Views From Little Rooms

Previously: Harry was the first of the room to break the stunned silence, "WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED LAST NIGHT!?"

Suddenly the Room of Requirement began transforming, all of the once king sized beds broke in half into twin beds, separating the occupants. The room grew larger as it enclosed all of the twin beds in their own little rooms. Each room sprouted a small bathroom and a fresh pair of robes for their occupants to freshen up. Being in their own rooms gave everyone a chance to think over what, if anything, they remembered from last night and a chance to try to reason over what they saw that morning.

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Personal POV of everyone in their rooms:

Hermione: _Oh my gosh! What have I done? What happened last night! Waking up with Professor Snape like that! He was tied up! No one was supposed to know about _those_ fantasies! I bet he hates me now for pulling off the covers and embarrassing him like that! Well... it's not like he had anything to be embarrassed about in _that _department... But those hickeys! Did I do that? Oh goodness, how can I face everyone after that? Relax, everyone else was in just as compromising a situation as you. Yeah... I mean Harry and Draco all I can say is finally, same for Sirius and Remus. But Voldemort and Professor McGonagall, they looked so calm, there's got to be a story there... But really what the heck to Ron and Bellatrix and Neville and Narcissa? Under normal circumstances, Ron and Neville should have been dead the second they made a move on Narcissa or Bellatrix. Especially Bellatrix. What about Ginny and Lucius? I knew Ginny found Draco hot; the way she went on about him, I just didn't have the heart to tell her he was gay. But then to go for his very recently-divorced father! Ewww! It looks like I'm going to _have_ to face everyone if I want to get some answers._

Snape:_ What in the name of Merlin happened last night? Hermione tying me up... Hermione? Since when have I called Granger _Hermione_? Hmm... probably sometime before she ended up in bed with me... Tying me up! Such things a bit of frizzy hair and perfect grades can hide...These hickeys! Did she do that? Merlin, she's better than I thought... NO! I will not fantasize about a student even if she is of age... but no! And then what was she thinking, pulling those covers off of me, exposing for all to see? Well, it's not like I had anything to be ashamed of. Her face when she saw me was _priceless_ though...Great, what is she probably thinking about now? How she woke up next to her greasy potions professor? She's probably traumatized. As should I be seeing the rest of the occupants in the room... Potter and Draco was expected, as were Black and Lupin, but the rest... I better get cleaned up and figure out what in Merlin's name happened last night. Ah, my teaching robes, thank goodness they'll cover the hickeys..._

Harry:_ Merlin's balls! Did I just sleep with Draco Malfoy? I mean not like I might have not wanted to but still... I just slept with Draco Malfoy! I never knew he swung that way... And what was up with those wings? Those glorious, soft, angelic, WAIT! woah there Harry! I'm not even sure he likes me. Oh gods! What if he's horrified at whatever happened last night? But he didn't seem too angry this morning... maybe just shock. Merlin! Why is Voldemort here? Regardless of his intentions, why didn't I kill him, or he kill me? The evidence the room has to offer more closely resembles a wild party than a battle ground. And him and McGonagall? I thought she was with Dumbledore? Speaking of, why did he let Voldemort stay, apparently the night, in the castle? And why aren't Hermione, Ginny, Ron, and Neville dead? I mean, sleeping with death eaters? Well, there's only one way we can figure out what happened: to get dressed... IS THAT A HICKEY?_

Draco: Wings. _Wings. WINGS! What the hell? Gee dad, way to just spring on me this dark secret about the Malfoy males; we have wings. Great to know, perfect timing too- right when I wake up with Potter in my bed both of us being less than clothed. Merlin! What happened last night? How did I manage to lure Potter into my bed, or was it the other way around? Damn, these wings keep bumping into things! Despite their angelic connotation, they make my back hurt like heck! But that's not the only thing that's sore this morning... NO WAY! There is no way I would have let Potter top! I'm not sure I even fully like guys yet! Of course you do...Did you _really_ not like waking up to those green eyes... those emerald pools of glorious... Hold on there Draco, you might find Potter perfectly..attractive.. but isn't he with Weaselette? No, if he was all with Weaselette, why was she in my father's bed this morning? Speaking of... why is hell is my father sleeping with a girl who's younger than his son _and _who's the daughter of his lowliest enemy _and _who he tried to kill only a few years ago? Father and mother just got divorced a month ago. Understandable, they never were happy in that pureblood arranged marriage... But why was she bedding Neville? And what of the others? Uncle Sev and Granger? The Dark Lord and McGonagall? Ron and Aunt Bella? Black and Lupin? I guess there's only one way to find out... man I'm sore..._

Ginny: Holy f-! Holy f-! Holy f-!_ I just woke up in Lucius Malfoy's bed! Holy f-! WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT? CALM DOWN GINNY! NO, I CANNOT CALM DOWN! YOU MUST! breathe breathe breathe Ok, lets approach this rationally and calmly. Alright, what happened last night seems like a mystery to everyone. Somehow, it ended up with everybody hooking up. And I ended up with Lucius... f-. Why would I go for Lucius? Even in my most inebriated state, which no doubt I was in last night, why would I find the man who has tried to make my life a living hell attractive, and most importantly: worth sleeping with? Well... I mean Draco is pretty hot... BUT this is his dad we are talking about here!... Lucius is like Draco, I guess, but he's a lot older, and that hair! That... soft... luscious... NO! I cannot find Lucius Malfoy attractive! He has wings for goodness sake! Beautiful...pure white... NO! Oh Merlin! Let's think about something else right now... Harry. HARRY! He was in bed with Draco! I didn't know he was gay! Remus and Sirius, yes, but Harry and Draco? And things keep getting stranger and stranger, except for Hermione and Snape. Everyone had bets on how long that would take. But everyone else? Oh my. I need some answers here. MERLIN! THESE FEATHERS ARE HARD TO GET OUT OF MY HAIR!_

Lucius: _What was I thinking last night? Bedding Ginny Weasley? I tried to kill her, why would I sleep with her? What am I doing at Hogwarts anyway? Last night... nothing. I can't remember anything! I think I just tarnished the Malfoy reputation forever. The wings! I just had to reveal the wings! Well, the look on Draco's face was priceless. HE WAS IN BED WITH POTTER! Oh Merlin! And the rest of the lot, all in bed with each other! Narcissa and Longbottom! We only finalized the divorce last week, and she has to go sleep with a... child! You are a hypocrite Lucius. Well at least we slept with purebloods. But Bellatrix and Weasley? HA! What will the Dark Lord think? He is here too, in bed with Professor McGonagall. _O.o _Then why isn't Potter dead? Merlin! I need answers. And then a very strong obliviate spell on the lot of us..._

Ron: _Bloody Hell! Did I just wake up in a bed with Bellatrix Lestrange?! Oh no, I'm dead. I'msoooodeadshe'sgoingtokillme! Gottogetoutbeforeshefindsme! AndHermioneandHarryandGinnya ndNeville! Whatthehellhappenedlastnight ? Stumbles out of bed towards door, falls flat on face I. Have. Never. Been. This. Hungover. Ever. Crawls over to nicely appearing hangover and calming draughts That's better. Last night...I remember... NO EFFING WAY! NO NO NO! That couldn't have happened. It was the butterbooze. Definitely the butterbooze._

Bellatrix: _WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON? I remember nothing. WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT?! My lord! He was in bed with that saggy old Gryffindor witch! And CISSA! With the Longbottom brat! And Lucius with that blood traitor! (a little voice in her head added 'you too") And Severus with the mudblood! My stupid mutt of a cousin and his werewolf boyfriend! And Draco! OH my poor Drakey poo little nephew! IN BED WITH POTTER! I'm going to kill that stupid boy-who-lived! Wait. Why isn't Potter dead already?! The Dark Lord had him right there! Has the whole world gone crazy? (no, but most likely you have) I must plot Potter's doom..._

Minerva: _Hmm... I wish I could remember more of last night... Waking up next to Tom sure was unexpected. I mean we did... back in our school years... but so much time has passed... so much evil time. I wonder how he came to be at Hogwarts last night. There seems to be no evidence of a battle, but something much more confusing lies out side of this room. What will the rest think of me, seeing me in bed with Tom? Will Harry see it as a betrayal? Speaking of betrayal, Severus sleeping with one of my students is definitely a betrayal against me! And the Malfoy patriarch, Lucius! Sleeping with the a little less-than-innocent Ginevra! She is a student, even worse, a year younger than his son, and less-than-legal age! And the rest, Ronald and Neville! No one will touch my Gryffindor cubs!_

Voldemort: _...Well then. What the hell happened last night? I remember, maybe, going to... Hogwarts to... attack Potter? Seems that the young Malfoy beat me to that... smirks evilly. My 'so loyal followers' sleeping with blood traitors and mudbloods, the disgrace! I'll be the laughing stock of the Evil Villains International Convention! And my fiasco with Minnie! That was a long time ago, she didn't want to be a Dark Mistress, it's over. Going onto more important matters, why did I not kill Potter last night? This room, it must have _made _all of this happen. Yes, this room is very enchanted... There has to be a logical explanation as to why we can't remember last night. Now, off to kill Potter._

Sirius: _Wow! I'm sore! Did Mooney do that?! Of course he did that! Who did you wake up next to, stupid? Hmm... I've got a worse hangover than when James had his bachelor party! Thank goodness for hangover cure potions! I wonder what happened last night... From the looks of it, we've got the perfect recipe for a wicked party here: lots of booze (judging from my headache), lots of sex (judging from the compromising many were in this morning), and a the perfect company for it! (That Slytherin/Gryffindor party James and I had in seventh year was off the wall wicked) Weird sleeping arrangements... hmmm... I bet it's all explainable... That's the only way of explaining it for now I guess... Time to get dressed. _

Remus: _Did I really just wake up next to Sirius Black? Yes. Yes I did. grins Finally. The rest of sleeping arrangements I saw are a little less expected. DEATH EATERS! Dear Merlin! How did Voldemort and his Death Eater gang get inside Hogwarts?! I'm sure there is a perfectly good explanation for all of this. I hope._

Narcissa: _I just woke up next to a kid I don't know. Merlin! I know the divorce was messy, but that doesn't grant me permission to sleep with a boy half my age- my son's age! You can't blame just yourself, Lucius was in bed with the girl Weasley! Ha! And my SISTER even, in bed with a Weasley too! But Draco- my little Dragon! In bed with...Potter...the enemy! Oh my Merlin! Our whole family's reputation is ruined! I must go and save some of my family dignity!_

Neville: _I think that was... Malfoy's mom? MALFOY'S MOM! _faints wakes up after a while _I'm going to go find Hermione, she'll know what to do!_

Once all the occupants were dressed, their doors opened and they stepped out of their rooms to face each other and find answers to the question everyone was asking.

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A/N: What do you think? Tell me please!

I meant for most of them to be longer, but I really want to get on with the story! Nothing important was left out! Some stuff was explained, but I left out stuff on purpose to let you be surprised!

And now we will continue on with the plot, warning, from here on is a lot of OOC (if you haven't guessed that already, well...) Up ahead contains themes that aren't exactly appropriate for children or small pets, obey the rating please!

Also, here's the disclaimer: NO! I do not own Harry Potter. I know this might surprise many of you, but alas, I am not the wonderful J.K. Rowling. Too bad too...


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